In Search Of ... Sanity

I'm always searching for something.  Lost shoes, car keys, overdue library books.  I think basically, though, the one thing I lost some time ago and am still searching for is my sanity.

The question I get asked most is "Are ALL these kids yours?".  I am tempted so often to say (and sometimes do) "Well, let me ask YOU a question?  Who, in their right mind, would take all these boys grocery shopping if they didn't HAVE to?"  Seriously though, do people think I am collecting stray kids off the street?

I'm sure people question my sanity in having Four children.  Four children in Four Years.  Four BOYS in four years.  Four Noisy, Energetic, Testosterone-Filled Boys with only a four year gap between the eldest and the youngest.  I keep waiting for it to get easier.  When I am not tied down breastfeeding for a good portion of the day, it will get easier.  When they can talk, it will get easier.  When the baby can play with his brothers, it will get easier.  When he learns to listen, it will get easier.  When he learns obedience, it will get easier.  We are now at ages 7,6,5 and 3, and it has to get easier soon, right?  He'll be starting school in 2013 ... it's not that far away, is it?

As I write about it, I know we weren't thinking clearly when we started this 'project'.  All we wanted, after 7 years of trying, was a baby.  Well, we got more than we bargained for, didn't we!?!   Who would have thought there would be so many, in such a short period of time.

Of course, its not quite as bad as it sounds.  Yes, the house is constantly in various stages of disarray, depending on what got left unfinished as I make a mad dash to stop someone doing something dangerous, or equally as often, something extremely messy.  Then there is the MADNESS that is getting ready for school in the mornings.  It doesn't matter how many times I lay out everything the night before, somewhere, someone decides to move something, and the search begins...

So, yes, the most common thing I am looking for is my sanity.  I'm sure I'll find it one day - perhaps in the toy box, or down the backyard in the rabbit cage.  In the meantime, I have found my nail file and a school sock, so I think that counts as a win for today.

And every night, when they are clean, and snuggled up in bed, I gaze upon those innocent faces and reflect on the funny things they said or did today, the new things they have accomplished, the joy they have brought us, and in that one (albeit fleeting) sane moment, I realise how very blessed we are.